I was the first girl to wear gauchos to school even when the boys made fun of me, I’ve rocked hot pink lipstick and I was never afraid to go introduce myself to someone, but motherhood, that was a completely different story. I felt so much insecurity. I wasn’t sure what I was doing, and then when I did start doing something I had people tell me I wasn’t doing it right, and my kid isn’t even two yet!
I’ve come a long way since those first few months of newborn-ness wore off and the hormones subsided, and I’ve grown comfortable in my own skin as a mother, wife, friend, and who I am in general. Don’t get me wrong, I definitely have my moments of insecurity, considering I am terrible at awkward silences and will say things to fill the void, often leaving myself face palming in the car later, but I’m really working on breaking that habit.
One of the things that helped me jump over that motherhood insecurity was one when I was eating at Chick-fil-a (big surprise) with a friend and they were telling me how they we’re trying to decide what to do with one of their children who was in grade school. I just nonchalantly said “You’ll know what to do, because God entrusted YOU to be his mother.” Too bad I couldn’t preach this to myself when I needed it the most…
Out of all the mother’s out there, God gave me my little one for a reason. If I am in His Will and rely on being obedient to him and not to others, then I am exactly where I am supposed to be. I don’t think that’s just in motherhood though, it’s in our careers, friendships, marital status and encompasses our whole lives.
I wouldn’t call myself a people pleaser, but so much insecurity stems from the deep desire to be loved by others. In reality, not everyone is going to love or agree with us. When we live in the place where we know we are loved (I Peter 2:24, Romans 5:8 & John 3:16), we don’t need the scraps from others. We also don’t have to rely on our emotions to dictate what our mind should think, we have truth of who we are and can rely on that. We can have forever acceptance.
Being you guarantees you will be different than your neighbor. That’s the beauty of it all. Your exact version is different and it was created to be just that. But being comfortable with who you are doesn’t happen overnight, its a process of changing your thought pattern, taking your thoughts captive and choosing to live where you are at.
In regards to insecurity as a mother, that Chick-fil-a conversation had me later thinking about my children’s perception of me. I want to raise my kids to know they are loved (even and especially when they make mistakes), they are different and why that’s important. It becomes difficult to do that if I don’t believe it myself. We must have grace with ourselves and stand on truth so that those little eyes watching will want grace and truth too.
Cove and I are wearing matching shoes from Softar shoes. These sandals feel like slippers and I can wear them all day and my feet feel great. They are so soft and the leather is already broken-in to perfection. Cove loves his little ones too and hasn’t figured out how to take them off yet, which is a win for me. You can shop my pair here (customized to the Aged Walnut) and his pair here (customized with Aged Walnut and Aged Whiskey strap).
I hope you all have a great weekend! xx