Hearts Like Wildflowers | Flourishing In the Most Broken of Places

I drive by this field almost every single day. There’s nothing special about it, and it’s not a particularly stunning drive. Ever so often though, a group of wildflowers will spring up. It happens when I least expect it and they don’t typically hang around all that long. But when I drive by and see them, it always reminds me of the beauty in the simplest of things, in the ugliest of places. I remember Ian being out of town last year for a week. It was his first time being away from Cove and me for that long and…

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To the mother with children on earth, in heaven and those cultivating life in other ways…

  It took a lot in me to write this, and I went back and forth on whether I should or not. But at the end of the day, I felt someone needed to read it. I was lucky enough to have an incredible mother who loved and taught me the beauty of what motherhood is and can be. When I was growing up, she would always say it was more important to her that we loved and treated her well every day of the year than just one holiday where we felt obligated to do so. I took this…

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My baby should have been born today…

No one can prepare you for loss. Everyone experiences it differently. As the weeks and months passed from the time we lost our first child, I felt like there was literally a hole in my heart and body from the loss. In April, we found out we were expecting another baby. A lot of people asked me if the hole was filled after I got pregnant again. Some would make comments about how we must feel better now that we got pregnant again so fast. But my hole did not fill from the desire to carry and have a child here…

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Thoughts on Things: Keeping My Eyes Above the Waves

Some days my feet are in the ocean and there is a warm breeze with peace and comfort. Other days, the wind is knocked out of me. Wave after wave of grief and anxiety hit me. The vacant room we had painted for our baby. Walking by the baby section at Target. The uncertainty of what will be next for our family. I don’t think I fully understood how little control I would have over my body after a miscarriage. I told Ian I felt like a walking bag of tears. I would be in the middle of working on something…

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My story does not end in ashes | Our Miscarriage

This post was written nearly a month ago… I couldn’t bring myself to post it for quite a long time, but I felt compelled to share because someone somewhere needed to read this.  7 weeks ago, I held a positive pregnancy test in my shaking hands. The night before, I had dreamt for the first time about having a child. I can still remember looking down at the sweet perfection of life God had given me. Excitement overtook me, and I prepared a gift to give to Ian. He had no idea what was going on, but as soon as…

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